Self Talk

When I was a little girl I heard that people who talked to themselves were crazy. As I got older I heard that it was okay to talk to yourself, but don’t let anyone hear you or know that you answer yourself because you COULD be in danger of being committed. Now that I’m a woman of considerable age, I don’t mind telling you that I talk to myself. I’ve learned that self-talk, especially when it’s positive, can be life defining.

We have a voice inside of our heads that determines how we perceive ourselves and every situation we find ourselves in. The voice inside speaks our conscious thoughts, assumptions and beliefs. This voice is self-talk.

Most of my self-talk is positive. However, at times I’ve had some negative, unrealistic and self-defeating thoughts that seem to come from nowhere. If we’re not paying attention to our thoughts, our negative thoughts can quickly overshadow the positive ones. With this in mind, I have to examine where these negative thoughts are coming from. I practice checking my thoughts regularly to see if they are negative or positive. I usually get in the mirror so I can see my body language too. I know from experience that keeping your thoughts in check will contribute greatly to your mental and emotional wellness. That’s why I’m encouraging you to take the time to do it.

I also keep a copy of “As a Woman Thinketh” by Dorothy J. Hurst on my nightstand as a reminder that I must continuously check my thoughts. This short book is the woman’s version of “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen.  These books express the belief that an individual, through the power of positive thought, can form his or her character and consequent happiness.

In one of my favorite Earth, Wind and Fire songs, “It’s All About Love” written by Lorenzo Dunn and Maurice White, the lyrics say  “Talking to yourself is fine. Makes you feel much better. Know just where to draw the line my dear, my dear.” So, go ahead and talk to yourself.  Check in with your feelings too. Feelings often reflect thoughts and thoughts reflect feelings.  Asking the following questions can help you to check your self-talk: 1) Are my thoughts based on facts? 2) Will this thought help me to achieve my goals? and 3) Why do I think and feel the way that I do about this?

If you recognize that your thoughts could be self-defeating, challenge them. We can choose to anticipate the best instead of focusing on the worst that COULD happen. Remember that just because you think something does not make it so.

Practice makes self-talk positive! If you’d like some assistance, contact RevSalia at (202) 440-8004 or revolds@verizon.net.

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